Previous postings.

Justin Bear Day, South Essex, 26-October:
We returned to South Essex for the seventh JB Day and, as always, had an admirable turn-out of 22 hackers. After bacon rolls and much fashion-related banter on the first-tee, the groups set off in earnest to tackle the course and the ever-increasing winds. 
The collective 3-ball of Darryl, Damon and Terry were the most-connsistent group (28pts, 33, 29), but were unable to make an impression on the final prizes, where Steve Watts took his second victory in 3 outings after carding 37 points. Steve will now be awarded a -3 handicap cut (please refer to 'Rule 1a, Rule 1f and Rule 2a' should clarification be required). Simmo (33pts) took runner-up courtesy of a strong back-9 (23 points). Graham took the Wooden Spoon. 
Near-pin prizes went to Paul Fox and Steve Watts, with Ian O taking the long-drive. Simon's mood after a mediocre performance was somewhat-improved with a win on the sweep.
Well done to all of our winners, thanks to all who attended, and looking forward to this event for 2014.
Hall Of Fame, OOM and handicap pages now updated.

Weekender 2013: Barnham Broom (report: Smutley):
So another successful weekender has come and gone. 14 intrepid players ventured into the wilds of Norfolk for a weekend of golf and gaiety. With the forecast set fair and dry,{for most of us},we met early Friday morning at the Barnham Broom club for a bit of brekkie and pre match banter. The usual frivolities ensued on the first tee as did the usual hooks, slices and shots that they haven't thought of a name for yet, but our groups headed off into the stunning Valley course full of hope and optimism. Unfortunately that optimism seemed to be unfounded on a fairly widespread basis with first round scores coming back on below average numbers... "Tough course", "fast greens", "it was really really hard", were some of the lame excuses heard back in the clubhouse. Mr.P.smith won the day with a fairly low score of 32pts, with Mr.s.smith runner up on 30pts. Mr Graham Tonner had the pleasure of the wooden spoon, though he did have a ready excuse of several aches and pains - nothing to do with his crap swing then... Mr. P.smith took a nearest the pin, with Ian O taking the long-drive., although, on a successful day for the Smith Brothers, Simon hit a monster drive on the 16th with an 'alleged' 327 yards. I didn't realise they made tape measures that long bruv, but we believe you, and its now down in print, so can you please stop talking about it now! 

I can't let the first day's golf go without mentioning events on the downhill par 3 17th hole. Playing in my fourball were Messrs. Spencer,Byrne,and Harrison. Mr Byrne and Spencer spent all day hurling abuse and golf balls at each other, while Mr Harrison just hurled his golf clubs at no one in particular. On the 17th, the three stooges managed to hit their tee shots in every direction bar that of the green. After several re-loads, and what seemed like a eternity looking for their balls, Mr. Byrne found his on the edge of the riverbank. Now, not quite as nimble and as sure-footed as he once was,yes you've guessed it Plop! Straight in. With his playing partners wishing him every sympathy, all he could say was 'its cold in there'. Soaked up to his armpits,covered in mud, Mr Spencer observed that he didn't realise they had introduced hippos to the Norfolk countryside...

After a few warm down pints and a couple of games of killer, in which Mr D. Rainey showed his big brother who the real pool player in that family is, the group met up again for dinner, then evening drinks. Now as nice as the Barnham Broom venue is, it wasn't exactly a Butlins 80's weekender,or as Mr Spencer put it, its where old golfers go to die. So a pleasant uneventful evening ensued, though Mr O'Hara did try to liven things up with a round of shots. Unfortunately this had the opposite effect and sent a load of tired old golfers off to bed. Night Night! 

The following day saw us tackling the Hill course. Not as picturesque as the Valley course, but still a tough test with a strong prevailing wind. Mr S.Smith continued his recent good form with an excellent 34pts, runner up was Joe Green on 34. Mr.Oleszko took another near-pin with a cracking shot to within 8 feet,although later in the evening it had shrunk to within 2 feet. Long-drive went to Simon. After two rounds, Mr.S.Smith was in strong contention for the overall prize with a win on the day, Mr. O'Leary took runner up, with Mr J.Green moving stealthily up the leaderboard.

The annual pairs event was won by Joe Green and Andy O'Hara who, on a different day, may have encountered reprimand for seriously slow play! But we're more lenient than that..

That evening 8 of the more young-at-heart members made their way into Norwich to try and escape the slow painful death that is the Barnham Broom bar. Our spirits were immediately lifted on entering Lloyds No 1 Bar thanks mainly to the fact that the average age was well below the 50-mark, and that any drugs on offer were not just for bad backs,sore knees,tennis elbow, indigestion or constipation. You know who you are guys... After a minor pub crawl trying to find a bar where we didn't look like a bunch of lecherous old gits we ended the night in Chicago's: dark, dingy, smelly, sweaty, 'third time around' hen nights.... Think 'Undateables' meets 'Fat club' meets 'Embarrassing Bodies' meets 'Strictly',after the watershed. So, right up our street then!

Highlight of the night had to be Mr Spencers interpretation of 'Murder on the Dancefloor'. While attempting to 'spin' one of the aforementioned units, he managed to dump her with tremendous force onto her big fat arse. Her hefty companions were not amused, though rumours of a Tsunami on the Norfolk coast were thankfully unfounded. We made our escape.

The final morning saw a return to the gorgeous Valley course, with Mr.S.Smith hot favourite to hold onto his 5 shot lead. Unfortunately for him,the wheels were never even on,and he crumbled rather sadly,and it has to be said pathetically.  Messrs P.Smith and Oleszko tried to make a game of it, but the consistent Mr Green came through to take the overall honours, and very well done to him. Mr. J Rainey won the day's prize with a stonking 38 points. A great round indeed, and nothing to do with the fact that he sat quietly nursing a pint or two both nights in his cardigan and slippers! Long-drive went to Simon (again) awith near-pins to Adrian and Paul O. 

All in all,a fantastic weekend,and looking forward to next year already. Well done to everyone for bringing something to the party! Many thanks to Simon for his money-chasing ability, and above all his organisational skills. 

Maylands  GC, Friday 14-June: 
The Society returned to Maylands and were treated to good weather and a course in good condition, with greens that tended to defy convention. 11 members managed a day off work, and Simmo made a welcome guest appearance after
a lengthy absence. But let's hope his trains have a better sense of direction than he does!
Yet again we managed to retain our stockpile of prizes with only one near-pin being won - congrats to Gerry. Rodders went from 'hero to zero' by winning long-drive, then coming home with a paltry 14 points, earning him the wooden spoon. Questions are being asked of his 2013 form, possibly the wedding or stag night are preying on his mind
...? On the other hand, Charlie's happy..
Bully took runner-up from Gerry on a countback (31 points), and yours truly made it back-to-back Society wins with 35 points. 
Thanks to all who attended.

Next Day:
Birchwood Park GC: 
Please note change of day / date, now on Saturday 17-August. 
This will be our Captain's day, possibly coupled with the JB Memorial (tbc).
We will meet for breakfast at 09:30, and tee'ing-off from 10:30.
Texts to follow. 

North Weald Golf Club, Saturday 20-April:
Our third trip up the M11 to North Weald Golf Club, where the day was accompanied by a squadron of light aircraft heading into the clear blue skies.
With 19 hackers, a beautiful sunny day, Smutley defending a previously 'unbeaten' run at the track, a welcome 'return from injury' for Jimbo, and an ugly shank off the first tee by Woody, the day was prefectly primed. Apart from a few patches of GUR and a touch of sand on the greens (!), the course was in reasonable condition, but overall scoring didn't necessarily reflect this. But with new-boy Graham Tonner making a third appearance, the Wooden Spoon is in danger of becoming a formality. Probably we need a return from CJ to offer Graham some competition. 
Inevitably John Smith took the long-drive, and (less inevitably) Ian took the only near-pin - currently we're achieving a strike-rate of 50% of near-pin successes. Maybe in future we'll need to offer a 'nearest-pin in 2 shots' to ensure we achieve two winners!
Jim Courtney took runner-up at his first event of 2013, and yours truly chose his moment to post a day-winning 33 points, and a welcome (temporary) return of the WGS Shield. 
Handicaps, Order of Merit and Hall Of Fame pages are now all updated. Thanks to all for attending and congratulations to all winners (excluding myself, of course self-congratulation is sad and pitiful). 80)

Austin Lodge, Saturday 20-February. 
Westill's 2013 campaign kicked-off in the snow-covered Kent countryside for the Society's first visit to Austin Lodge Golf Club. Although the outlook seemed bleak upon arrival, a short interlude for coffee and bacon rolls saw the snow subside and 21 hardy souls make their way to the first tee, then onto the wide, open fairways, with plenty of hills and undulations. The elevated tees at 7 (par 3) and 13th (par 4) were particularly impressive and memorable. 
Overall, the self-proclaimed 'Legend' took his first honours since July-2010, his 36 points securing the victory, with Adrian in the runners-up berth on 34 points - congratulations to you both. 
Near-pin prize opportunities were once again wasted by the Society, without a single ball hitting greens on the nominated holes. The long, undulating, dog-leg 17th hole provided the long-drive challenge, and only a well-structured drive with just the correct amount of fade, coupled with awesome power, would earn the plaudits - I wonder who may have won THAT particular prize?? 80)
Wooden spoon was contested by two hackers, with our current Order Of Merit champion, Rodders, escaping by the skin of his teeth on the count-back rule - dubious congrats to Graham Tonner, who will be hoping for an improvement on 11 points for his next outing. Hall Of Fame, Order Of Merit and handicap pages are all now updated.
Well done to all participants who braved the near-arctic conditions, and thanks to Austin Lodge - I'm sure we will make a return in the future when the weather is, at least, slightly more favourable.

Weekender 2012, Five Lakes Resort, Colchester:
Maybe the reorst's name inadvertantly provided a clue to the duration of the rounds - a minuimum of 5 hours per round was the norm and, with a gypsy wedding thrown into the mix, this made for a Weekender that wasn't for the faint hearted. The hotel and facilites were generally good, but woefully understaffed. The courses were well-maintained, the greens were in good condition, the rough particularly unforgiving.

Controversy raged even before we hit the first tee, with Rodders' "wild" spending on new Pro-V1's the source of much debate and some clandestine text'ing. Revenge was served thanks to an unfortunate 'club-hurling' incident - fines were awarded accordingly.

With handicaps changes being awarded on a daily basis, plus the added distractions of the Ryder Cup and Spurs -v- Man Utd matches, it was always going to be a busy Weekender. Rodders' new balls proved their worth as he was only denied a Friday victory courtesy of the 'countback' ruling, and Andy O took the plaudits with 30-points and an early lead in the race to the Weekender 2012 title. As it transpired, it was a lead which Andy was never going to relinquish over the weekend, with a consecutive 30-point haul on Saturday and 23 on Sunday sufficient for him to become the first member to retain the Weekender trophy. Steady Joe Green came overall runner-up, with Rodders being pipped into 3rd place.

The annual 'battle of the titans' was another close-run affair, with Charlie the eventual victor over Big Andy. Adrian and Jim Courtney defended their 'pairs' title with aplomb, only succumbing to eventual winners Paul Courtney and Andy O on the countback.

The AGM passed without incident, the main items of interest were Adrian being voted-in as WGS 2013 Captain (congratulations), an agreement not to hold a knock-out tournament during 2013, no changes to the handicap system, and a WGS anniversary event during 2013, possibly with a 9+18 hole format (to be decided).

Club coffers were swelled thanks to fines being served for a multitude of sins, including: timekeeping, club-throwing, shoddy attire (eg: maternity wear, sandals[!!], ill-fitting shirts), baseball cap fashion faux-pas, slow play, profanities directed at Committee members, inability / lack of desire to calculate Stapleford scores to cards.

Congratulation to all winners, and thanks to all who helped to make it another successful event. Hall Of Fame and OoM are updated, handicaps to follow.

Darenth Valley, Saturday 1st-September, Justin Bear Memorial:
The Society returned to DVGC for the 2012 Justin Bear Memorial, with 25 in attendance to remember Justin at this ever-popular event. Ian Oleszko was victorious with 37 points, with Adrian one point behind for runner-up. Wooden Spoon was closely contested with yours truly (18pts) and Charlie (13pts) flirting with danger, only for Paul Courtney to push the self-destruct button and failing to return a scorecard after playing only half a round.
Near pins went to John Smith and Martin Girling, with the latter also taking longest drive with an Exocet-assisted 285+ yard monster!
Hall Of Fame, Handicap and Order Of Merit pages are now updated for your perusal.
Well done to all winners, and thanks to all participants, with special mention to Justin's family and friends who joined us (Darryl, Damon, Terry, Keith, Graham, Martin and Ricky).
Abridge G.C. Friday 13-July
Abridge Golf Club welcomed the Society for the first time, and 19 attendees were treated to a fantastic, well-manicured course, with greens like wet ice! On a generally low-scoring day, 8 scores were returned under 20-points, and only 3 over 30 points - a busy time for the Handicap Secretary!
Paul Fox's 34 points secured a first WGS shield, winning by one point from Rodders; a fine opening 9 holes by our 2012 Captain Gerry wasn't maintained on the back-9, his 31 points securing 3rd place on the day. Near-pins were taken by John Smith and Rodders, who also took long-drive. Wooden Spoon was comprehensively secured by Paul Courtney, with the lowest score since WGS records began - I'm not so cruel to put it on the homepage, so see OOM for the gory details! 
In the Singles Competition, John Smith, Gerry, Jim Rainey and Charlie progressed into the next round, revised draw below.
Congratulations to all winners, and thanks to all attendees.

Burstead G.C., Saturday 26-May
The Society enjoyed a glorious summer's day as it returned to the delights of a fantastic Burstead course for the 4th time. Jim Rainey returned to winning ways almost 2 years to the day since his last WGS victory, his 35 points securing the victor's glory. A steady 33 points from Paul O'Leary took the runner-up berth. An enthralling battle to avoid the Wooden Spoon saw the 'Three Amigos' (yours truly, Woody and Bully) each returning a paltry 18 points - on this occasion, Woody was the unlucky punter, losing-out on the countback.
Smutley and Woody took Near-Pin accolades, but the Long-Drive award was shrouded in controversy as, at the 19th hole, it was announced that, like Katie Price's fun-bags, Paul Courtney's effort on the 18th had been artificially enhanced, and his drive is therefore disqualified. As a result of this misdemeanour, Mr. Courtney is awarded a one-shot penalty for his next-attended Society Day. 
On the subject of misdemeanours, it was also brought to the Committee's attention that one Society member "putted-out for a 13" - on the grounds of etiquette (ie: consideration to fellow players / slow play), the culprit will be be awarded a one-shot penalty for his next-attended Society Day - step forward again, Mr. P. Courtney. 
In the Singles competition, John Smith and Paul Fox progressed into the Quarter Finals - revised draw below. 
On a more serious note, £550 has been collected for Gary Pike. Members generosity is admirable. Thank you very much. 
Hall Of Fame, handicaps and Order Of Merit are all now updated on the website.
Misbehaviour apart, an excellent day at Burstead; congratulations to all winners, and thanks to all attendees.

Hainault GC, Saturday 14-April:
Congratulations to Dave 'Rodders' Rainey, who won his first WGS accolade with a stonking 41-points, and Paul Fox, who earned his place in the Hall Of Fame table with a 34-points. Bully has had better days, and couldn't avoid the Wooden Spoon this time.
Long-drive was taken by Ronnie, and near-pin awards went to Paul O'Leary and Jim Rainey. 
Website is now updated for Hall Of Fame, handicaps and OOM 2012.

Society Day: Friday 24-Feb, Wooldands Manor GC, Kent:
Our first event of 2012 returned the Society to the undulations of Woodlands Manor GC; the weather was fine, the course was in good condition, and it provided a stern challenge, particulalry to those hackers that hadn't picked up a club since pre-Christmas!

Joe Green continued his fine run of form, his 34 points enough to take the 'Society Day' accolades for the third time; Bully came home in runner-up thanks to a count-back over Jim Courtney, who's score card was reviewed upward post-event by the Handicap Committee from 31 to 32 points. John Smith took long drive and one near-pin, with Ronnie taking the other closest-to-the-hole prize. Paul 'Mr. Steady' O'Leary evidently struggled with conditions, and 16 points on the day earned him the Wooden Spoon. Order Of Merit, Handicaps and Hall Of Fame pages are now updated. 
In parallel to the Society Day activities, the 2012 singles Competition got under way, with Gerry, Adrian and Joe Green progressing into Round Two; the complete draw for which is below. To ensure momentum, please endeavour to play your matches before, or at the latest on, the next Society Day in April. 
Finally, we make a welcome return to the awarding of WGS penalties; the following members will each receive a one-shot penalty award on the next attended Society Day (the penalty is not applicable to the Singles Competition)
Penalty Awards: 
1. CJ - club abuse | 2. Charlie - kicking ball after drop | 3. Rodders - poor etiquette
4. Jim Rainey - profanities, warning, suspended 1-shot penalty
Thanks to Woodlands Manor GC for their superb hospitality, and all competitors for a most enjoyable day's golf!
Stableford Abbotts, Friday 16th December
The Society returned to Stapleford for the second time in 2011, and the final event of our 2011 calender, which also included celebrations for Ronnie's 50th birthday.
Despite a considerable snow flurry, we managed to complete the round, although the last few groups required head torches and floodlights as the sun had long since set over the horizon. Somewhat fittingly, plaudits went to the birthday boy, and Ronnie's 34 points comfortably secured the victory; Joe Green rounded-off a fine 2011 with runner-up (31 points), and Paul O'Leary returned a commendable 30 points for 3rd place. Long drive was taken by Ian O, and near-pin by Micky Cox. Bully and Gerry vied for the Wooden Spoon, but the consolation sleeve of golf balls went to Gerry for his paltry 14 points - a handicap review is definitely in order for Gerry's 2012 campaign!
The 2011 Order of Merit was secured by Joe Green, with Andy O'Hara taking runner-up; well done to you both. 
The website is now updated for Hall Of Fame, Handicaps and Order Of Merit, plus a new template has been applied (to allow for better printing).
A very busy Society day also included the 2011 AGM (details below), plus a foray into Hornchurch for a fun-filled evening with the WAGS - the Society now has a new anthem in "Take Me Home Country Roads" - superb! Thanks to everyone for another good WGS season, and a top day on Friday! 

AGM - 2011
Key items from Friday's meeting:
1. Committee members were re-elected, with Ronnie and Smutley making up a 3-man Handicap Sub-Committee
2. The current handicap awards system will be continued, plus the Handicap Sub-Committee will have extended remit to 'flex' handicaps where they feel appropriate
3. 2012 Society days will be held on 4x Saturdays and 2x Fridays, plus the Weekender
4. Following the success of this year's event, Weekender 2012 will possibly be held at Sprowstone Manor again, or near Norwich
5. Prizes for winners and runner-up will be held 'on account' until season-end
6. There will be a new pairs competition on one Society day in 2012 - details to follow
7. Charlie will run a singles competition in 2012 - details to follow
8. Simon committed to publish the 2012 dates onto the website before the first Society day of the New Year
9. Gerry was nominated 2012 Captain - congratulations!
10. We will look at the following new venues for 2012: Abridge, Austin Lodge and Bentley; we will also look for return bookings at Warley Park and Woodlands, and possibly Weald Park (which is under new management)
11. A WGS 'DISCO' night will be planned for 2012 - in case you've forgotten, EVERYONE agreed that they would help with arrangements, if required
12. A special '50th WGS Society Day' will be planned for early-2013; this will possibly be an 'overnighter'

Weekender 2011 - Sprowstone Manor, Norfolk - 1st - 3rd October
The weekender trip visited a new venue for 2011, and Sprowstone Manor did not disappoint; a fine hotel, a challenging course in excellent condition, superb weather and close proximity to Norwich city centre all contributed to an enjoyable weekend for all. 

Andy O'Hara started the weekend with a win on Saturday, and some very steady scoring earned him the plaudits and prizes (and overall handicap cut of 3.75 shots) for his first weekender accolade. John Smith was runner-up, and Paul O'Leary third overall. Over the 3 days, fatigue must have set-in, as Big Andy's scoring went steadily downhill (22>18>12), earning him the wooden spoon.

Jim Courtney and Adrian stormed Saturday's pairs competition, with Paul Courtney and Andy O'Hara in runner-up. Other prize winners below.

Hall Of Fame, Order Of Merit and Handicap web-pages are now updated, note that handicaps were updated for each day's play.

  Saturday Sunday Monday
Long Drive Jim Courtney Rodders Andy O
Near Pin Paul O John Smith Andy O
Near Pin Joe O CJ CJ

Darenth Valley, Saturday 3rd September
The Society reached a minor milestone on Saturday with the 40th event in our relatively short history; this also coincided with our 5th annual event in memory of member and friend Justin Bear. On a warm sunny day at Darenth, we were joined by Justin's family and friends Darryl, Damon, Terry and Russell, and we welcomed two 'new' hackers into the WGS fraternity: Max Rainey (one more 'Rainey' will earn them their own, private 4-ball), and John Leitch. 
Honours on the day went to the in-form Joe Green, with 39 points; he took home the JB trophy, WGS shield, a clutch of prizes and, most importantly, a 2-shot handicap reduction. Dave Henshaw took runner-up from Adrian, courtesy of a stonking 20 points on the back-9. Paul Courtney earned a sleeve of balls for long-drive, as did John Smith and yours truly for near-pins. Young Max Rainey was awarded the WGS 'Juniors' competition (17 points) and founder-member Ronnie earned back-to-back wooden spoon with his 20 points. Well done to all winners. 
And of course, thank you to everyone who participated; this is, and should always remain, the most popular event in the WGS calender.

Stapleford Abbotts, Friday 15th July.

The Society made a welcome return to the Abbotts course with 19 members in attendance. We were greeted with excellent weather and a course that all agreed was in superb condition. 
Joe Green continued his fine recent form to record an inaugural WGS society victory, with Bully 'turning the tables' on his last WGS outing and taking the runner-up berth on countback from JimC, Smutley and Dave Henshaw. The Society welcomed back several members including Dazza and Dave Henshaw, and one of our founder members, Ronnie, following a long injury-induced absence. Unfortunately Ronnie's efforts on the day only earned him the wooden spoon.
But the recurring memory from this Society day will be our self-proclaimed Legend carving his name into WGS history by taking the first-ever hat-trick of long-drive and near-pin awards - well done to all winners and thanks to all participants. 

Weald Park, Saturday 18th June.
The old proverb "if at first you don't succeed" was never more appropriate as the WGS shield welcomed a new name for its 38th event: well done Paul Courtney for what can only be described as monumental perseverance! 34 points was 3-clear of runner-up Simmo, and well ahead of all other contenders. Rodders took long-drive with a monster drive that Alvaro Quiros would have been happy with, and Simmo and Jim Courtney won near-pin prizes. At the other end of the honours, early inspection of scorecards proved inconclusive, and it was announced that Bully's 19 points took the Wooden Spoon; however, after a second review by Jim 'Mr. Handicap' Rainey, Jim Courtney's card showed several discrepancies, and his original 19 points was scythed back down to 15. Note to JimC: maybe it wasn't such a good idea for Joe to mark your card! ;-)
Hall Of Fame, Order Of Merit and Handicaps are now updated.
Thanks to everybody who attended at short notice, Weald Park provided a challening day out and is now firmly back on the WGS calender.

Birchwood Park Golf Club, Saturday 9th April:
The Society returned to Birchwood GC for the annual Chudley Cup competition, with 18 hackers participating in the April sunshine. In true Grand National style the day was a close-run affair, with Andy O'Hara too strong for Simmo over the final furlong, although both scored 39 points, Andy prevailed on the count-back. Charlie Byrne and Simmo took near-pin prizes, and andy rounded-off a fine day with the long-drive accolade. Jimmy 'CJ' Harrison managed the dubious honour of '2 out of 3' wooden spoons over the last three Soceity days. 
Well done to all winners, and thanks to all participants.
Order Of Merit, Hall Of Fame, and Handicaps pages are now updated.

South Essex Golf Club - 
Saturday 19th February:
The 2010 Weekender weather returned 'for one day only' and 22 intrepid adventurers braved the persistent rain (and standing water on the early greens) to complete the first WGS Society day of the 2011 calender, where we welcomed two new faces in Stuart Kearney and Paul Tate.

Keith Pullen continued his 2010 form with 35 points securing the victory and an early advantage in the 2011 Order Of Merit; newcomer Stuart marked an impressive debut with 33 points playing off 7-handicap, with a gross score of 82 - definitely worthy of his 1-stroke handicap cut! At the opposite end of the honours, a clutch of hackers struggled with the rain and cold, with 9 scoring 20 points or less - Charlie was the unlucky oneon this occassion and his 14 points ensured the wooden spoon. It should also be noted that we had our first 'retired hurt' as Mr. Girling retired after 9-holes, also on 14 points - coincidentally the Chelsea / Everton FA Cup was on the TV in the warm and dry clubhouse, but I'm sure there's no connection there (and well done to the Toffees).

Near pins went to Paul Courtney and Andy O'Hara, with John Smith taking long-drive. Congrats to all winners and thanks to all participants.

Hallf Of Fame, Order Of Merit and Handicap web-pages now updated.

Other Business:
1. Score cards #1: If you are unable to calculate your score using the Stableford method, two words: MAN-UP! Its not difficult, and you've had years to hone the skill. Lets make a collective resolution for our 2011 season to get all Society members conversant with this scoring method. Those who do know the Stableford system, please assist / advise / educate where necessary.
2. Score Cards #2: When marking score cards, you must put your own score in the first column (Markers Score) and the score of the person whose card you are marking in the next column (usually denoted simply as 'Player A'). If you are unable to / unsure of the Stableford points, simply mark the total number of strokes per hole for yourself and the person whose scorecard you are marking, then return the card in the Clubhouse. 
AGM 2010:
Due to the inclement weather at Avisford Park the AGM was not held, nor were Weekender prizes awarded. Rest-assured that matters are in-hand with the Committee, and all open items will be resolved in due course (in summary: Yes,CJ, you will get your sleeve of balls for winning on the Friday, there's no need to keep reminding me).
Society Day: Toot Hill, Brentwood, Friday 26th November:

Our last day of 2010 was well-attended, with 18 hackers braving the cold and plenty of frost in a last-chance effort to improve final Order of Merit 2010 standings; the groups were selected, bacon rolls and coffee providing requisite fuelling, and we pondered the wonders of Keith's sat-nav adventures on and around the M25: would he make tee-off? Would his Tom-Tom become just another piece of road-rage debris? Or would he take the sensible option to turn around and go home to the warmth of Pullen Towers?!?
All was not in vain as Keith duly arrived in good time for the later tee-offs, and he returned a whopping winning score of 38 points! Maybe Joe Green would have preferred him to take the 'sensible' option as his 34 points continued his excellent run of form but was only enough to secure runner-up spot for the day. CJ wished he himself had stayed at home as he took the Wooden Spoon with 18points. Near pin prizes went to newcomer Dean and yours truly, who also blitzed the long-drive for the day! 80)
Well done to all who attended at Toot Hill, our gratitude goes out to Bully for his usual superb organisation over the 2010 season, well done to Joe for his captaincy, and thanks to all who have supported the Society over 2010. 
Hall Of Fame and Handicap pages now updated.

Order Of Merit 2010:
Following a few years in the 'prize wilderness' the Legend returned with a bang to take the 3rd OOM title and add his name onto the salver. Overall it was an excellent contest, with Simmo providing stiff opposition throughout the season, but unable to effect the required 6-point swing at Toot Hill. Well done to Smutley and Simmo, and thanks to all 16 members that achieved the required 4 appearances over the season. 
OOM 2010 page is now updated.

Abridged Weekender 2010 Results:

Overall winner: Joe Green, runner-up Andy O'Hara.
Friday winner: CJ, runner-up Jim Rainey.
Saturday winner: KeithP, runner-up Andy O'Hara.
Saturday Pairs: Joe Green + Smutley, runners-up Keith Pullen and Charlie.
Sunday winner: Joe Green, runners-up Dave 'Rodders' Rainey / Paul O'Leary

Congratulations to Joe on a cracking weekend's performance, well done to all winners, and thanks to all participants.

The 'Wet Weekender' 2010:
Hilton Avisford Park, Arundel

Following a week's reflection (and drying-out) there can only be one word to describe the 2010 Weekender: wet. It rainded on Friday and it rained on Saturday - with a side-helping of wind; Sunday morning teased us with a dry start, but just until we got onto the first tee when, that's right, it started to rain again. Ironically the sun made a rare appearance on Sunday afternoon, in what almost appeared to be a 'f*ck you' gesture. But overall we weren't to be deterred: much golf was played, many beers were drank, prizes were won, side bets were placed, and everybody took the pi$$ out of Charlie - our usual Weekender fayre, really! 

Overall the plaudits go to Joe Green for a weekend of consistently strong scoring and I can bear witness to some fantastic play on Sunday afternoon (39 points) - well done to Joe for winning the Weekender 2010 crown! 

CJ took the honours on Friday's Society day (29 points) from Jim Rainey on 28; scoring was very condensed on the Friday, with everybody 'hunkering down' for a war of attrition against the driving rain. Keith Pullen scored an impressive 39 points on Saturday, with Andy O'Hara on 38 and Joe Green on 37. 

Final overall scores for al days (cards permitting), nearest pins, longest drives, Order of Merit and handicap cuts will be posted later this week when Jimbo has managed to decipher all the cards.

Well done to all who attended, and congratulations on tackling the conditions. Looking on the bright side: surely it can't rain like that again next year - can it?!?

Justin Bear Memorial: Hainault, Sat 4th September

Our fourth JB Memorial was, as usual, the highest-attended event on the WGS calender, and again we welcomed Justin's brothers Darryl and Damon, his friends Terry and Russell, along with a couple of new guest attendees from north of the border, Craig and Barry, plus Joe's work colleague Paul Fox.

A fine morning started in the Hainault café with coffee and baps - served with bacon and a side order of attitude! With the formalities of breakfast and sweepstake done, hackers set off for the first tee. The day saw a stream of steady scoring, with 4 players returning 30 points, 4 with 31 and another 4 with, you've guessed it, 32 points. Justin's representatives returned the strongest 4-ball scoring, with Damon and Terry on 36-points apiece. Only newcomer Barry Kelly better'ed this with 37 points, and thus took the coveted JB Memorial Trophy.

For the Society prize, Ian took a maiden 'shield' victory (and my fiver!) with an impressive 35 points, and Simmo continued his strong vein of form to take runner-up (33 points). Yours truly returned a schockingly poor 18 points which earned a well-deserved Wooden Spoon; to coin Toe-knee Blair's 1997 election motto: things can only get better (and I hope they improve by the Weekender!). Longest drive was taken by Damon, who also won a nearest pin, the other near-pin going to Woody. In case you were in the minority who he didn't manage to mention it to, Charlie got 30 points. Well done to all and thanks for attending.

Smutley retains the overall lead in the 2010 Order Of Merit from Simmo in second, with Commander-In-Chief Bully in third. Website is now updated for Hall Of Fame, OOM and handicaps.

North Weald GC - Friday 23rd July

Hall Of Fame, OOM 2010 and Handicap pages now updated (apologies for the delay!)

The Society made an overdue return to North Weald GC and were warmly welcomed by the hosts. Smutley continued his recent good form with a second win of 2010; a storming 23 points from the front-9 and respectable 18 on the back-9, returned 41 in total and was too strong for the other 16 hackers. The self-confessed Legend will welcome his handicap 'reward' of a 2.5 cut! Keith took runner-up with a solid 38. Smutley and Paul Courtney took near-pin prizes (shame about the birdie, Mr.C!), and John Smith longest-drive - as usual! Well done to all and thanks to everyone that attended our 32nd Society Day.
The 'WGS Summer Soiree' proved an overwhelming success, with Dave 'Rodney' Rainey single-handedly providing most of the entertainment, including a fine impression of Eddie the Eagle to round off the evening. Roll on the Weekender!

Weald Of Kent - Saturday 19th May
The Westill Society ventured into unchartered territory for the second time in 2010 with a visit to the Weald Of Kent GC near Maidstone; while the weather may have been on the 'disappointing' side, the venue, the course and the company added to another top Society day. Jim Rainey took the honours with a steady 31 points; and Simmo's return of 30 points secured runner-up, and was also enough to retain top spot in the 2010 Order Of Merit.

Long drive went to Keith Pullen, and nearest pins to Henny and Joe Green; wooden spoon on this occassion was taken home by Jimmy Harrison. 'Drowned Rat' accolade was shared by Keith and WGS Captain for 2010, Jim Courtney. Hint: always pack your waterproofs! J

Upon review, Handicap 'Kommandant' Jim Rainey has amended two scores: CJ (17>18) and Keith (25>24) gaining and losing one point respectively, overall placings are not affected.

Hall Of Fame, Order Of Merit and Handicap pages are now updated. Congrats to all winners and thanks to all participants.

Warley Park - 10th April

Another glorious 'Westill weather' day greeted our first visit to Warley Park GC; general concensus was that the course offered an excellent, if somewhat challenging, Society Day. 21 hackers attended, and we extend a warm welcome to 15-handicapper Keith Pullen - we hope to see you again. On a day where high scoring was scant, Simmo prevailed with a strong 37 points, and Smutley maintained a good start to his OOM 2010 campaign with runner-up on 32. Bully was the only other hacker to return a score of 30 or more. Hall Of Fame and OOM 2010 pages are now updated. Also, Handicaps page is updated with the agreed '2010' handicap awards systems - please note Jimbo has amended 5 scores after re-visiting all score cards. Rules & Regs page now includes the 2010 handicap system.

Near-pin prizes went to Andy O'Hara and Captain Jim Courtney, long-drive to Deano. The Grand National sweep prize money went to Henny, IanO and JoeG. Well done to all winners!

Couple of points of order: ALL Weekender scores will now be applicable for handicap review. Also, please remember to pay your Subs at the next event, if you haven't already done so.

Jolly Boys Outing - Hull -25/26 June:

Mr. Spencer will host a weekend of beers, World Cup footy and golf at the Skidby Lakes Golf Club ( on Saturday 26th June. Let Andy know if your interested by e-mail - or text him on 07920-023-963. Darenth Valley (Shoreham GC) - Saturday 20th February:
'Order Of Merit 2010' and 'Hall Of Fame' now updated. Handicaps to follow. 

Our first Society day of 2010 enjoyed another day of fine Westill weather, and 12 hackers headed south to Shoreham Golf Club. Overall it was a closely contested contest and, after 20 points off the front 9, Simmo commented that he was not surprised to learn that Dave 'Rodders' Rainey was the brother of one of our Handicap Sub-Committee as he was playing off a very generous 28 and was hitting most fairways and greens in regulation. However it was Smutley who eventually prevailed and marked a strong start to the season with 33 points, which was just enough to hold off Bully and Rodders, who took runner-up by virtue of a stronger back-9. 

Nearest pin also went to Smutley, and longest drive to John Smith. Our very own 'Hitman' - Paul Courtney - took home the wooden spoon with 18 points and, it was noted, administered some severe retribution on his clubs, which will be dealt with by our 'Fines Kommandant' Mr. Girling. 

Despite winning the WGS shield and near-pin, 'the Ledge' also suffered the ignominy of biting the dust while trying to navigate a tee-box - better get a 4-wheel drive trolley for next time!

Well done to all winners and thanks to all attendees. 

One point of order is to ensure that Bully is notified a minimum of 7 days in advance if you are unable to attend, so there is plenty of time to amend arrangements with the host golf club - it only takes a phone call!!

The 'Hit-Man' at the World Darts Championship

Click the link below for our very own Mr. Happy's 15 minutes of fame... Enjoy!

Stapleford Abbotts, Friday 4th December:

Our first foray onto Stapleford's 'Abbotts' course was well received, with positive feedback from several hackers; most notably the fine condition of the course, despite a thorough drenching thru November. 

Society winner for the day was Deano, for his second WGS Society day 'win', with Adrian taking runner-up spot, also for the second time (the first being in August 2004, for the statisticians among you). Charlie took the Wooden Spoon, although this particular prize was maybe more hotly contested than the overall win!

Nearest pins were won by 'Handsome Jim Rainey', and Paul Courtney (who's still moaning he never wins anything, despite a near-pin AND having his name pulled out for the OOM 'random' prize! Change the record, PLEASE!). Longest drive was taken by (surprise, surprise) John Smith! ;0)  Well done to all. Final OOM standings and updated handicaps are now posted. Photos added.

After a hotly contested finale to the season, Deano is crowned the WGS Order Of Merit 2009 Champion - well done to Deano, this accolade caps an unblemished finish to the season, following his Weekender success. Runner-up by only 2 points was Jim Courtney, with Adrian and Ian O in joint-third place. Well done to you all.

Its very likely that the Society will pay another visit to SAGC either later in 2010 or, more likely, during mid-2011, when we can hopefully enjoy the course in prime condition. 

With the dust finally settling on the golfing activities, the evening's focus switched to beer, the World Cup 2010 draw, a visit into Hornchurch to throw some shapes to the local R&B soul-man DJ in residence at the Railway (with more beers) then, for the die-hards, the short cab journey to our spiritual home, Palms. Overall a top night and a fitting end to a successful year for the WGS.

WGS 2009 Round-Up:

WGS Captain: Many thanks to Captain for the season Joe Oleszko, who has set an admirable example for those of us fortunate enough to be voted-in to the post at some time in the future. And on this topic, welcome and good luck to Jim Courtney who will wear the Captain's shirt during 2010.

Handicaps: As agreed at the AGM, the handicap system will be updated for 2010. Once the full details are received from Jimbo and Ronnie I'll post these onto the 'Rules & Regs' page.

Finances: On financial matters, the WGS account remains in a healthy position, with a year-end credit balance of £466.09. Funds are collected for prizes and the rottweiler'ish efforts of Deano in imposing fines! New for 2010 is an annual 'subs' payment of £5 from each member. The balance is used for Society day deposits, prizes (including OOM), website hosting, etc.

Social: Following the year-end jaunt into Hornchurch and beyond, we'll announce two events marked on the 2010 calender as 'social gatherings' (ie: p1$$-ups) - one will take place in Summer, and the second will follow the final Society day of 2010. This gives us all plenty of time to arrange transportation, beer vouchers and sleeping arrangements. So, no excuses - make the effort - or you'll have our very own 'Mr. Party' (Smutley) to answer to!

Calender 2010: Will be updated once finalised with Bully - the aim is to do this during January, with first Society day in mid- to late-February.

It just remains for the Committee to congratulate all 2009 winners, and to thank all who attended the Society days and Weekender, and also Denise and Julie for the Presentation Night. We wish you all a great Christmas and happy and prosperous New Year. And, don't forget: if you're bored and lonely over the festive period, you can always submit a post onto the MessageBoard!

Weekender 2009:

As the dust settles on the sixth WGS weekender, we can reflect on an eventful weekend of ocassionally medicore golf coupled with an excellent social event: Half-price charges from the hotel (temporary bonus)... Dave Rainey inexplicably losing a shoe... Deano collecting a stonking £59 in fines in less than 24 hours... Paul O'Leary winning his first WGS Society Day... The as-ever excellent WGS Weekender weather... Big Andy's 'sausage throwing' story... A generally-well behaved and, dare-I-say-it, productive AGM... High winds - but not high enough to dry wet mattresses... A great Sunday 'match-play' scenario between Deano and Smutley for the Weekender Trophy...

Friday saw some good play on the course, with Smutley and Rodney returning with 35 points apiece, but the Legend took the spoils on the day with a stronger back-9 of 15pts. Saturday saw very high winds which, while certainly blowing away a few cobwebs from the previous evening's bar-side activities, also provided a stern challenge out on the Bar Hill course. As mentioned, late attendee Paul O'Leary took the spoils with 32 points, with Deano and Adrian both returning 31 points, Deano's stronger back-9 just edging Ade for runner-up. Sunday saw as many as 6 hackers in contention for the overall Weekender championship, but it quickly turned into a two-horse race between Deano and Smutley. Playing in the same four-ball, both arrived at the turn with 20 points apiece, and it was only Deano's magic-wand of a putter that managed to force a wedge between them with several 20+ foot putts securing a whopping 40 points, for his overall gross round of 82. Smutley should take heart in a very respectable 37 points (second highest score of the weekend) - is this the long-awaited return to form that he's been promising for far too long..?? Congratulations to Deano on winning the Weekender (105pts), and becoming the first Society member to have won two Weekenders. Well done to runner-up Smutley too (101pts), and to Dave Henshaw's overall 3rd place (90pts).

Charlie and Big Andy provided great entertainment both on- and off- the course, Charlie's overall 69pts comfortably ensuring Andy (58pts) took the Wooden Spoon accolade. Big Andy can take solace in his final-day performance, carding his best round of the weekend (25pts).

Other performances of note should go to Paul O and Joe Green (91pts) and Ade (90pts), plus all of the near-pin and long-drive winners (too many to mention individually). And of course we mustn't forget the 'Dynamic Duo' of Rainey (J) and O'Leary, who plundered the spoils of Saturday's Pairs competition! (although rumour has it that O'Leary scored all the points...) ;0)

Saturday evening's AGM was widely regarded as a success. Naturally there was some lengthy, heated, but generally good-natured and healthy debate, especially on the prickly subject of handicap scoring. With some exceptionally quick thinking (surprise), and a brief adjournment to tweak the system, JimR and Ronnie quelled any rebellion by, effectively, halving the shots awarded for scores of 20pts or less, or those in the 21-29pts bracket. Our new system will start for first Society Day in 2010. Other notable topics were the appointment of Jim Courtney for Captain 2010; Smutley becoming the third member of the Handicap Committee; the abolishment of shot penalties in favour of a monetary fine system; 5 or 6 new venues proposed for future Society Days; a review of the 2009 presentation night; and the instigation of a yearly £5 subs payment from all Society members from 2010.

All discussion topics and agreement are covered in the minutes, which are now available on the 'AGM 2009' page. The Hall Of Fame, Handicaps and OOM pages are now updated. Also, some photos are now posted too.

Dare I say that this will rank up there as one of the best WGS Weekenders, and we should all be congratulated for contributing to a top weekend. Roll on 'Weekender 2010' - as a closing thought, maybe we could hold this on the Ryder Cup weekend..?
Weekender 2009 - Bar Hill, Cambridge, CB3 8EU

The evenings are drawing-in, Summer holidays are but a distant memory, and the shops are already preparing for the Christmas consumer-fest... But fear not, and rejoice, for the highlight of the WGS calender (golf and social) is almost upon us!

Yes, all roads (well, the M11 at least) lead to Bar Hill on Friday 2nd October for 3 days of golf, and 2 evenings talking about it. As usual, there will be daily prizes for winner and runner-up, plus long-drive and nearest pin. Of course the highest point scorer over 3 days will win the coveted accolade of Weekender Champion 2009.

We will be meeting at 10:00am latest for an 11:00 am tee-off, those who attended in 2007 will affectionately recall the first drive over the lake!

As usual, smart casual attire is expected for both golf and evening dinner (no ¾-length trousers, unless they are Plus-4's!). Depending on interest, there's also the possibility of a soiree into Cambridge town centre on Saturday evening (strictly for sight-seeing).

No doubt there will be the odd booby-prize, a daily sweepstake, plenty of side-bets, mucho banter, and lots of beer vouchers spent. But lets not forget that we are representing our Golf Society, and etiquette, good manners and a sunny disposition are expected at all times (hangovers excluded). Especially during the AGM 2009 which will be held on Saturday evening!

Any questions to Bully (or myself). Thanks, and see you on Friday 2nd!

South Essex - Saturday, August 15th

WGS returned to South Essex for our 26th Society Day and a fitting warm-up for the fast-approaching Weekender, with welcome re-appearances from PaulO, Big Andy and Ricky - we hope to see you all again during the 2009 campaign.

After a close-run event, Woody and Deano were level on 35 points, but honours on the day went to Deano, courtesy of a stronger back-9. But Mr. Wood will cherish a welcome 'return to form' following a lacklustre performance on our previous Society day at Chelsfield GC!
A riveting side-show was provided by Big Andy and Charlie Byrne, paired together for a 'Clash of the Titans' event. Big Andy played-up to the assembled gallery with a monster drive off the opening tee, and duly milked the applause from the stunned onlookers. However, it was Charlie who eventually emerged victorious, thanks (in part) to some excellent course management (bouncing an approach off a footbridge) and Big Andy succumbing to the pressure by managing to rebound a drive off the ladies' tee and back over his head - we eagerly anticipate the re-match at the Weekender.

Nearest-pin honours went to Joe Green and Andy O'Hara, and long-drive to Ian Oleszko, with Big Andy taking the Wooden Spoon.

Mobile Phone penalties went to The Legend and IanO, with Adrian's outstanding penalty from Chelsfield carried to his next attended event. Also, Andy O'Hara and Joe Green received warnings relating to their attire, specifically '3-quarter length trousers' - such flagrant abuse of the dress code will not be tolerated in future.

Hall Of Fame, Order Of Merit and Handicaps are now updated.

Congratulations to all winners, and thanks to all who attended - next stop the Weekender!

Justin Bear Memorial - Saturday 4th July - Chelsfield Lakes GC

For the third successive JB Memorial, the sun shone and the event was once again the best-attended on the WGS calender, which is a great credit to our good friend Justin. With 23 hackers heading out over 7 tee-off's, points were readily available over the opening short, if somewhat technical, front 9. At the turn rumours abounded of +20 points already being posted, it was becoming evident that a high score would take the spoils on the day, and also that an assault on the Order Of Merit was very likely! The back 9 was more open, but also rewarded accurate play with generous points, explaining why the overall average score for WGS members was up to 34.88 points from the previous Captain's Day average of score 25.17. (For the mathematicians out there, average score at Woodlands GC was 24.94, and Burstead 26.08).

On the day there was a host of nearest-pin and long-drive prizes, too many for inclusion here. For the WGS 'Hall Of Fame', one of our 'elder statesmen' - Gerry Smith - romped home with 43 points; in an effort to extinguish some recent and scary Stableford memories, yours truly returned home as runner-up with 40 points. And we welcome a new recipient into the 'Wooden Spoon Club' in the form of Martin Wood, whose 22 points was the sole score in the 20's, and a full 8 points behind the closest golfer. But of course nobody is gloating...

Having been missing for several WGS events, the dreaded penalty points made a welcome return at Chelsfield, with single shot penalties awarded to Ade and Rodney (mobile phone usage), Paul Courtney (club abuse, or "cleaning sand off my club" as he preferred to call it), and another for Rodney for Committee Abuse - although most of thought Bully did look like a "tart" in his pink trousers! Penalties will be effective on next attended Society Day.

The Hall Of Fame, OOM and Handicap pages are now all updated.

As always, hearty congratulations to all winners, and our thanks to all who attended this special event on the WGS tour.

 Captain's Day, Maylands G.C. - Saturday 16th May

A blustery day greeted us at Maylands, for our third event of the year, and our first ever WGS Captain's Day; winner was on the day with a handicap-busting 37 points was CJ, congratulations on your first WGS victory. Runner-up was Bully, following a count-back over the last 6 holes with John Challener, as both players scored identical points on the back 9.

Nearest pin prizes went to Ronnie and CJ, with John Smith took the longest drive.

Wooden spoon on the day went to Captain Joe, whose slow scoring over the first few holes failed to gain any momentum later in the round.

The day was followed by a soiree into the Maylands own Italian restaurant, where wives and partners (and Adrian) joined us for an evening of fine food and delightful conversation. CJ proceeded to celebrate finally getting his name on the WGS shield with an extra portion of roast spuds!

Congrats to all winners, and thanks to all that participated.

Woodlands Manor, Saturday 21st March:

For our second outing of 2009, and the inaugural Chudley Cup event, 17 Society members ventured into Kent for our first visit to Woodlands Manor.

Honours on the day went to Jim Courtney, with a steady and respectable 35 points, with Gary Smith runner-up on 31 points. Well done to both, I'm sure they will welcome the obligatory handicap 'downsizing'!

The Smith Brothers endured mixed fortunes, taking last place (yours truly, 17 points) and second-last place (the Legend, 20 points), the only crumbs of comfort coming in the form of Longest Drive and Nearest Pin prizes. To summarise: shocking!

All scores can be viewed on the OOM 2009 page, and handicaps have been updated.

Congratulations to all winners (and losers), all participants can commend themselves on conquering 'the Eiger' and managing to descend the 18th un-scathed!

Handicaps 2009:

At the 2008 AGM a motion was carried to review and implement an updated handicap system which offered increases in handicaps, as well as reductions. The sub-committee have fulfilled this obligation and the revised system is now effective.

From this point we will reserve further discussion on the topic until the 2009 AGM, where discussion, debate and suggestions can be managed in the appropriate manner thru the AGM chairperson.

Golf Presentation: Saturday 28th February

To all who attended, thanks very much, hope you had an enjoyable evening.

And a very big "thank you" goes to to Julie, Denise and Ronnie for helping to organise a top evening - the Sub-Committee did us proud!

Handicaps 2009
The post-golf activities included some very lively discussion regarding the new handicap system devised by our esteemed 'Handicap Sub-Committee'. In view of the level of opinion, there has been an amendment to the proposed system - go to Section 2 of the 'Rules & Regs' page for further details on how this will work, and also the 'Handicap' page which has been updated to show all changes to members' handicaps.

Burstead Golf Club - 14th Feb 2009

Burstead hosted the first WGS event of 2009, and 14 hackers ran the gauntlet of a Valentine's Day Massacre by forsaking romantic overtures, grabbing their clubs and making a run for it before the wives had a chance to ask: "Where's my roses??"

A fresh, bright morning greeted us and, although the fairways required wellington boots rather then conventional golf shoes, the greens were in very good condition, despite the recent snow and rainfall (4th green excluded!).

Congratulations to Jim Rainey on a welcome return to form: 33 points was enough to secure the win, powered by an impressive front-9 of 21 points. Runner-up, and keeping it on the family, was Dave Rainey on 31 points. I'm sure both will welcome the obligatory handicap awards (-2 and -1 respectively)! Nearest pin (and gaining a first-ever WGS 'win') went to Paul O'Leary, and longest drive was John Smith's.

Wooden spoon on this occasion went to our Club Captain for 2009, Joe; although several players finished on 23 points, Joe's one-shot penalty from Maylands (mobile usage) coupled with his score for the day, settled the issue without further discussion.

Well done to all of our winners and thanks to all that attended.

Friday 2nd January 2009

We can reflect on a 2008 season which saw Ronnie take the prestigious Order Of Merit title, WGS committee and sub-committee members almost making a clean sweep of society day honours, Charlie consolidating his position at the foot of the proverbial league table, Smutley continuing his run of Society days without a win, Deano accumulating more penalty points than Damien usually scores on a single good round, yours truly hitting the Big 4-0, Ian finally making an honest woman of Mary, Ricky becoming a dad, and Woody gracing us with a single cameo appearance for the season! Congratulations to all, and lets hope 2009 is as successful and eventful for our WGS.

Plans for 2009 are as follows:

  • A minimum of 6 Society days, possibly a 7th for this season, provisional dates to be announced onto website over next 2 weeks.
  • Weekender scheduled for first weekend in October (Friday 2nd October to Sunday 4th October)
  • New competition: the Chudleigh Cup.
  • Our first Captain's Day
  • WGS Presentation Night: Saturday 28th February
  • New handicap system
  • New and improved penalty awards (courtesy of Dick Dastardly)
  • New Society day venues 

Happy New Year from all at Westill HQ!

Maylands, Friday 5th December:

The last scheduled WGS event of 2008 benefited from a very respectable turnout of 19 hackers, maybe it was the plethora of prizes on offer, or maybe the promise of a beer-fuelled evening. Besides the coveted WGS Shield, the annual Order Of Merit was also to be decided, and the overall standard of scoring was high, despite boggy conditions on the Maylands track.

At certain times during the day, it appeared that the Order Of Merit was providing an unwelcome distraction for some of those players in  with a chance of winning the inaugural event, for others it spurred them on towards very respectable scores.

For the daily pize, honours went to Dave Horsley with a stonking 39 points; the WGS Committee is not unhappy to announce a 3-shot handicap reduction for Dave. Runner-up was Deano with 36 points, a fine performance only marred by continual infringement of WGS rule 1f (excessive mobile and Blackberry usage) - net result for Mr. Girling is a one-shot handicap reduction plus yet another one-shot penalty for next attended Society event. Having accumulated 3 penalty points over the 2008 season, Mr. Girling is warned regarding his future conduct within the Society. In accordance with WGS rule 1i Mr. A. Murphy will accept a one-shot penalty for next attended Society day for 'club & bag abuse'.

++ BREAKING NEWS ++ Westill Golf Society Club Captain Joe Oleszko in Maylands 'mobile abuse' scandal

John Smith can't have failed to be pleased with 33 points for the day, aided by some pin-point approach play and his early 'Christmas gadget' range-finder! Coupled with his Nearest Pin and Longest Drive prizes, John's overall third place also avoided another handicap reduction - not a bad day at the office!

At the other end, Damian's 13 points were enough to ensure he subjected Charlie (11 points) to a hat-trick of Wooden Spoons for the last three Society days.

At the start of the day, there were 16 members vying for the OOM title, with as many as 6 or 7 having a realistic chance of victory; despite some serious (and intentional) mind-games over the closing holes, sub-Committee member Ronnie Perry retained the #1 berth he had occupied for all of the season with the slimmest of winning margins over Bully (135 and 134 points respectively). John Smith took third place a further point behind on 133. Charlie Byrne won the 'spot' prize of free attendence at a 2009 WGS golf day. All OOM scores are now updated on the 'OOM 2008' page. Congratulations to all participants, with a special mention to those achieving the 'qualifying' limit of four Society days. We look forward to another close contest for the OOM in 2009.

Other topics of discussion:

Presentation Night: 28th February 2009
New handicap system to be announced on website in January, courtesy of Handicap Sub-Committee (Mssrs. Perry, Rainey and Wood).
Next Society day: Early February, details tba
WGS 2009 Annual Subs: £10 due from all members at next attended Society Day
Weekender 2009: To be held on Friday 2nd October to Sunday 4th October, details to follow

++ MEET AT 09:15, DON'T FORGET YOUR WOOLIES AND WATERPROOFS (and some beer vouchers for the evening) ++

The Society returns to Maylands G&C Club for the first time in over 3 years for its final event of 2008; your £40 tariff includes bacon rolls, 3-course Christmas Lunch and  prize money!

If this isn't enough to get your golfing juices flowing, the 2008 Order Of Merit will also be decided, with any one of up to a dozen hackers still in with a chance of winning the OOM Salver. And of course there is also the OOM 'spot prize' of free attendance to a WGS golf day, providing you have attended a minimum of 4 WGS Society days.

As this is the farewell event of the 2008 season, you are invited to partake in a few beers afterwards; following dinner and prize-giving, the die-hards among us will be heading into Hornchurch for an evening of carol-singing, decoration-hanging and general merriment, fueled by copious amounts of mulled wine.

Other WGS topics:

  • Presentation Night 2009 is provisionally booked for February 28th 2009 - evening to include: music, buffet and prize-giving. Further details to follow, suggestions welcomed.

 Westill Weekender, Tudor Park, Sept 2009:

Another successful Weekender for the WGS ,this time at the Tudor Park Marriott Hotel near Maidstone. Westill's weather luck held up as we enjoyed one of the best weekends of sun for a while. A great turnout as usual, with only a couple of late withdrawals, along with our city whizz kid Simon, who could only make the Friday after a late call out to Hong Kong, to sort out the credit crunch!

With excellent conditions on the Friday, high scores were expected but the fast and impossible to read greens found out many of us heavy handed agricultural workers! Mr Smith (Jr) won the day with a respectable 33 pts, even after a disappointing back nine. Runner-up was Dave Henshaw (32) followed by a clutch of 30-pointers: Gary Perry, Paul O'Leary and Gary Smith. Wooden spoon to Charlie, who also managed to take 'Nearest Pin' honours - an interesting return for his day's efforts!

With a 3 o'clock finish for the first 4-ball and dinner at 8, it was a very decent afternoon session in the spike bar! Allegedly the Gary and Alan family combo knocked back 16 pints between them before dinner! a very enjoyable meal was greatly enhanced by some 'Westill wine vouchers' followed by swift entry into the bar for the evening. There were no reports of early exits to the rooms except, of course for 'CJ' Harrison, who was in his jammies by 10!

The players were up  for breakfast on Saturday morning in a bit of a haze, but soon realised that the course was actually covered in fog. An hour's delay failed to hinder the players with some improved scoring, with course knowledge now coming into play. Mr. Gary Perry excelled himself with 41pts closely followed by Mr. J. Rainey (39pts) and Westill newcomer Dave Henshaw scoring 35pts, as did Ian Oleszko. Even Mr Ronnie Perry had a decent day at the office (34pts), after a disappoining first day when all his pre-planning course knowledge, written on rainforests of notepaper, proved to be a complete and utter waste of time - muppet!

Saturday's pairs competition proved very interesting with some decent pairings, although Charlie Byrne made the mistake of picking our best player Mr. Johnny 'shite trousers' Smith who, unfortunately, rarely scores very highly! Whereas Mr. Andy Spencer chose very wisely in Mr. Paul Smith, in his match with Mr. Byrne. There was no doubt about the winners of that particular challenge! But the overall pairs winners with a great score of 71pts were Mr. Rainey and Mr. P Courtney. Maybe this accounted for the unusually chipper demeanour of Mr. Moan-A-Lot Courtney for the second day running (unheard of since he learned to walk) but, happily, he was back to his usual grumpy self after the Arsenal -v- Hull game. ;-)

With some good scoring all across the scoreboard (supplied by Ronnie's daughter, obviously the brains of the family), the final day's play was set up nicely. Another excellent meal was marred only by Mr. Harrison and Mr. Gary Smith asking for more chips - class! A great evening followed in the bar and, with 2 rounds of golf to discuss, the bullshit was flowing. The late entry of some wedding guests helped the atmosphere, especially if you liked your wedding guests to resemble Miss Piggy!

We were greeted on the final morning by more fog, although only a short delay today this time. A flustered looking Mr. Rainey was seen rushing to the first tee a little late, all that last minute practice with the overall trophy in his sights, tension was obviously getting to him! Some great scoring ensued, again in perfect conditions, this time another 'Smith' taking the prize with 39pts: the legendary 'Man In Black'. New boy Dave Henshaw was close behind with 38 pts to cap a great weekend for him, I'm sure the Handicap Commitee will be taken a close look at his scores!

The overall Weekender winner with a highly commendable 104 points was Mr. Gary Perry, followed - one point behind - by Mr. Rainey. Nearest the Pin accolades went to Charlie Byrne, Dave Henshaw and Jim Rainey, with Longest Drives going to John Smith, and Paul Courtney (Saturday and Sunday). As mentioned Jim Rainey and Paul Courtney take the 'Pairs' honours, reigning champs Murphy & O'Leary going down with a combined 45 points (we'll put that down to the fog).

Another great weekend,  thanks to our ever-reliable Fixture Secretary Mr. Bull, for his superb organisation. And a slightly smaller thanks to 'the Legend' for providing this Weekender review!

Justin Bear Memorial, Aug 30th 2009, Darenth Valley: 

The sun shone, and friends and family turned-out in their numbers to celebrate the Society's second annual tribute to Justin, with 24 hackers taking to the fairways of Darenth, which is fast becoming a spiritual 'home' for the members of the WGS. Following the consumption of super-sized bacon rolls, 6 groups set out to tackle Darenth's 6170 yards and vie for the coveted JBM trophy. Also on offer were a substantial haul of prizes, including the Society shield, top-drawer prizes and, of course, valuable Order Of Merit points.

After a very impressive front-9, Gerry Smith, one of our 'elder statesmen', was setting a furious pace with 22 points; 'self-proclaimed Legend' Smutley also fancied his chances after a hat-trick of pars at the opening 3 holes. However, it was the younger and, most would say, more handsome and generally all-round finer physical specimen, Simon (self-deprecating cough) that persevered to take the honours with a double-checked 38 points (note to self: bring calculator to Tudor Park). Overall runner-up on the day was Paul Liman with 34 points, who also blitzed the Longest Drive with a monster shot estimated over 300 yards. 

There were several other performances of note: Bully (the Society runner-up for the day) with 33 points, Gary Smith earned himself another 'Rule 2d' one-point handicap cut after returning his fourth consecutive 30+ score of 2008, Ian 'Wedded Bliss' Oleszko marked his return to the fold to take the Nearest Pin and also post a very respectable 32 points and finally, to strike joy into the heart of Big Andy Spencer, Charlie's 13 points ensured he was at the bottom of the Society member scores for the day. Check the Order Of Merit for latest updates.

Congrats to all Darenth winners, thank you to all attendees, and much appreciation to Justin's immediate family and friends who joined us. I think we would all agree that results on the day were immaterial, and all particpants were simply happy to pay respects to the memory of a much-missed but never forgotten friend. As Smutley toasted at the post-dinner presentation: "To Justin!"

Weald Park Golf & Country Club, 19th July:

Once more Ronnie Perry was victorious at the third Society day of 2008; Ronnie's 36 points was sufficient to ensure a 2-shot margin over John Smith (34), on a course that evidently rewards local course knowledge (you didn't think you'd avoid a cheap jibe, did you, Ron?). Longest drive went to Paul 'Muscles' Smith, who seems to have given up all hope of winning the WGS shield, and John Smith also took nearest the pin. Congratulations to all of our winners!

On this occasion, only one penalty was awarded (to Paul Courtney), for continued Bag & Club Abuse, effective at his next attended Society day. Additionally, Dave Horsley will welcome a one-shot handicap reduction under the consecutive 30+ points ruling (2d).

The second part of the day was devoted to the inaugural WGS AGM, with a lively exchange of views and suggestions, and several actions points agreed. Congratulations to Joe Oleszko, who was voted-in as our first Club Captain; duties will commence in January 2009, once we've decided what they are! Also, a hearty welcome to new 'Handicap Sub-Committee' members Ronnie and JimR, who join Woody in reviewing the current WGS handicap system; also, welcome to Julie & Denise, our first female posts on 'Presentation Night Sub-Committee'. That should keep the 'equal rights' do-good'ers off our case for a while...

Minutes are now available on the 'AGM 2008' page.

We look forward to implementing the agreed items to ensure continued improvements to the Society, for the benefit of all members.

I would like to thank everyone very much for sponsoring me in my 5 Mile walk on Sunday 15th June. I completed it and would be grateful if all monies could be sent to us as soon as possible so I can forward it to Conn' s Charity, Cystic Fibrosis. Again, many thanks, Steph.

Well done, Steph! I've posted a picture from our intrepid fund-raiser on the Photos page.

Hold the front page and batten down the hatches, there's a new message on the GuestBook! And its from a 'Westill Widow' apparently! I'm not sure the Committee have ratified the use of the Westill © name in this instance, so you may wish to take this opportunity to make yourself aware of copyright infringement laws, and expect a call from our Legal Dept. But thanks for your comment!

Hi everyone, Stephanie is doing a sponsored walk for Cystic Fibrosis, for her cousin Conn, and she would be very grateful if anybody could sponsor her please, if you could either text me or contact us by email, would be great. Thanks, Jim Rainey. 

Our Fixture Secretary has an invite to a 4-ball 'Organiser's Day' at Stapleford Abbotts on Thursday 26th June. The format is a morning 9-hole on the Priory Course, followed by lunch, then an afternoon 18-hole on the Stapleford Course. Price is £35, which includes prizes. Day starts at 9am and is expected to finish at 6pm. If you're interested, please contact Bully, myself or the GuestBook. First 4 confirmations will be entered.

Toot Hill, Friday 16th May:

Our second society day of 2008, and the Society's second visit to the fair-ways of Toot Hill was a resounding success. The rain held off, and 21 members braved a technically challenging course, and the obvious rigours of the 12th 'island' hole. WGS stalwart Ronnie Perry took the honours for the third time, with Gary Smith only pipped to runner-up on the countback ruling. Damian Murphy - a welcome re-entry to the Westill fraternity - managed 8 points and the booby prizes, which was somewhat balanced by his winning of the sweepstake! Longest drive went to our very own 'fashionista' 'Dubai Dean' Girling, and yours truly hit "one good shot all day" (according to the Legend) to take nearest the pin. Well done to all.

The Order Of Merit is now taking shape, the Hall Of Fame has been updated, as have the handicaps. On this point, your attention is drawn to the numerous penalties which have been imposed, maybe certain WGS members should consider refreshing their etiquette knowledge: club abuse, mobile phone usage and practice shots during your round? We think not... You know who you are... ;0)

After a short Spring break, the website is now up and running again, in readiness for another full calender of 2008 WGS events. After the season-opener at Stapleford Abbotts, reports arrived at 'WGS Towers' of a recent evening 2-ball event at Darenth Valley between our Fixture Secretary and Jimmy 'CJ' Harrison. With a struggling CJ only managing to amass a paltry 15 points for his efforts, after another flubbed shot, he announced: "I could cry sometimes". There, there, there, CJ, lets hope you had some Kleenex in your golf bag! One final note on this topic is a new feature to the website: "CJ's Tip of the Week" after he informed Bully that "sometimes I just walk up and bosh it!" Lets hope you were talking about your golf ball, Mr. Harrison, and not your good lady! ;0)

Congratulations to Ricky for completing the London Marathon in a very commendable 4 hours and 9 minutes, raising £2,500 for the Motor Neurone Disease Association. For those that forgot to do so, its not too late to donate a few quid in memory of Tony. . A reliable source informs us that Deano will be donning one of his infamous 'shorts and vest' combos and entering London Marathon 2009 - watch this space!

Stapleford Abbotts WGS Society Day:

First and foremost, a big congratulations to our Fixture Secretary Bully on securing victory at Stapleford Abbotts on Saturday; a very admirable 39 points was enough to take first place, with John Smith from the same 4-ball runner-up one point behind. Longest drive went to John Smith, and nearest to the pin was taken by Ian Oleszko. Well done to all of you!

Wooden spoon was a closely-fought competition: on this occassion, Pat Sully managed to take the accolade from Charlie B on a countback, after both players finished with 7 points each. Enjoy your Banana Beer, Mr. O'Sullivan, and we look forward to monitoring your progress at the next WGS event!

So the WGS Order Of Merit is now well under way, and a raft of 30+ scores ensures the competition is off to a lively start. We look forward to Round #2 at Toot Hill in May! Updates to handicaps, the Hall Of Fame, photographs and Order of Merit will be posted later this week.Finally, a big 'thank you' is in order from me (Simon) to all for a top day at Stapleford Abbotts on Saturday; also, thanks for the very generous gifts, and to those who kept me company late into the night.

Stapleford Abbotts, Saturday 1st March:

Please arrive for a 9:30 meet for the obligatory bacon roll and cuppa. In addition to the entry fee (£25), outstanding subs and Weekender deposits are also due - this could turn out to be an expensive day! But of course it will be worth it...

Any outstanding handicap penalties will be imposed for this event (refer to 'Golf Handicaps' page for further details).

Finally, the latest rumour on the PGA Tour is that Westill's very own 'higher handicapper' (Mr. Mangion) will be dusting off the sticks for his first appearance in 4½ years. We look forward to his company.

Stapleford Abbotts, Saturday 1st March:

As our season's first event approaches, now would be a good opportunity to draw your attention to these important topics:

  1. Participants for Stapleford Abbotts that have not yet paid their £20 subs will be expected to do so on the day.
  2. Deposits of £35 for the Westill Weekender (Marriott Tudor Park, Maidstone, Friday 26th to Sunday 28th September) must also be paid on March 1st. Bully has already weighed-out the sizeable deposit, so no excuses please.
  3. Evening entertainment at Stapleford Abbotts will be courtesy of Mr. Treasurer, wives / partners welcome. Festivities from 7.30pm, musical accompaniment from "Stormy Norm"!

Thursday 3rd Jan: Then there were three....  Bully, El Ronnio Perrio and Smutley/Legend/Pipsqueak (all one person!). 
Out in freezing temperatures, playing at the ranch of El Perrio (Woolston Manor Golf Club).  A close match with Ron winning on 30 points, Bully 27 points and Leg-end coming in with a poorly 21 points even after one shot managed to bounce out of the pond (and playing with 15 clubs and not the allowed 14 in the bag).  Thus imposing a WGS one shot penalty at the next society day, which should hopefully be Young Smith's 40th Birthday on Saturday 1st March at Stapleford Abbotts. 
The start of another season for the WSG which, with any luck, will keep thriving as each year goes by.  Very soon we should have a full programme of Society days booked, plus the much enjoyed golf weekender sorted.  Don't forget - bank account now open if you wish to save a little spare cash - just contact the banker S Smith.  Hopefully, there will be a golf AGM asap, all welcome for ideas and comments on how the society is or should be run, with of course, the Committee having the final say.
Finally, we need a voted-in chairman (any offers, must be over 40 years of age). 
Fixture Secretary: Bully
Treasurer: Young Smith
Handicap Secretary: Woody
Handicap: Smutley
Chairman: Vacancy
Regards and Happy New Year to you all,

The Society bank account has finally been opened, contact Simon (via mobile or the GuestBook) if you wish to start saving for the Weekender (I'm also still collecting the £20 subs).

Thursday 27th Dec: Three Smiths and one Bull ventured onto the hallowed fairways of Fairlop Waters for a turkey-busting livener; our Chairman provided much light entertainment with a hat-trick of air-shots on one particular par 5, the Legend was reprimanded for tee'ing-up nearer to the Ladies Tees than the Gents, and Smith Senior (Gerry) provided the Choc Chip Cookies, while Simon struggled to keep his new golf shoes clean.

The Legend that is Smutley took the honours with an extremely consistent round, his 39 points, was more than enough to take the spoils (Handicap Secretary take note!). Bully came in with a respectable 28 points, Gerry and Simon languishing with 24 points a-piece. An enjoyable morning, and one that will no doubt be repeated next Christmas.

Well done to Mr. Smutley, let's hope you can take this form into the next Society day, where trophies and glory await! :0)

As its 'closed season' for Westill golfing endeavours, please keep us updated on any golf you may be participating in over the festive period.

For a festive treat, I've uploaded further photos from Bar Hill (thanks to Joe for the additional pics).

Happy Christmas to all Westillians and to their nearest and dearest!

Hainault Society Day, Saturday 8th Dec: What started as an un-assuming, pre-Christmas 18 holes, turned into a Hatton -v- Mayweather epic, with 10 die-hard Westill Warriors braving everything the elements, and Hainault's Upper Course, could throw at them to 'enjoy' the last event of 2007.

At tee-off, and after a French lesson over bacon rolls, we had a generally mild and crisp morning. The front 9 saw some light drizzle, with my playing partners Adrian and Smutley 'The Legend' commenting that they "could play all day in this type of rain" - little did they realise that Zeus, Hercules and the rest of the Olympian Gods must have been angered, because over the back 9 all sorts of inclement weather was wreaked upon us! Curiously some of the less-brave souls preferred to indulge in Lakeside or Grandstand, and the general topic of conversation at the 19th hole was about these wimps - you know who you are!

Aided by a generous 26 hcap, yours truly managed to take the honours with 35 points, for a first (and probably last) Westill win, with Henny runner-up on 32. Dave 'Rodders' Rainey took longest drive, and our Commander-In-Chief Bully was nearest to the pin ("a cracker" he reliably informed me!). However, we must congratulate ALL who participated, its of credit that all 10 members completed the full 18 - tight b*st*rds wanted to get our money's worth!

Ps. Thanks to all who paid their £20 subs. Those left to pay: please see a member of the Committee - or Smutley, soon-to-be ex-Committee member (allegedly). ;0)

Tacheback Update : The 'mo' has now matured and is flourishing; Andy hopes he has raised £250 for male cancer research - well done that man, and thanks to those that have donated. For those that haven't, its not too late! Please contact Big Andy directly, or email

Visit Photo Gallery for the final portfolio pics!

As agreed at Bar Hill, all members will be expected to pay a £20 'signing-on' fee into the Society.

This will allow us to pre-book four Society days during 2008, so dates will be available to all members at the start of the year (giving you plenty of time to re-arrange your diary and make the obligatory excuses to the 'better half').

Payments to Committee member, please.

A message from Big Andy:

I've been enlisted to doing Tacheback, in aid of male cancer research.

From the 5th of November I can't shave for a month, so I was hoping that you could put the attached sponsorship form on the Westill website so that all the lads could donate something towards a good cause.
I'll text everyone and hopefully people will put their names down, if you wish to sponsor please e-mail '' and Simon will update the form, or request Andy's home address or email details. I will e-mail you a photo every week to see how my tache is going.
I am hoping to have a Gary Perry style bushy effort but I might have to settle for a Mexican bandit look.

Lots of activity and new content for you this week!

1. At long last the revised post-Cambridge handicaps are now posted onto the website!

Read 'em and weep, amended handicaps highlighted in red.

Feedback and appeals to: - all enquiries will be handled in strictest confidence (yeah right!). ;0)

2. The 'Cambridge weekender' point totals have been added to the Hall Of Fame.

3. For the puritans among you, please peruse the new page 'Rules & Regs' - as always, feedback welcomed!

Date: 14 Oct 2007 13:51 GMT

Hello chaps, Sorry for the short notice but this coming Saturday 20th October there is a treble celebration:

Oliver Spencer and Sadie Smith's heads are going to be wetted from 7pm onwards in the Obelisk pub in Chingford Mount.

It's the one on the left hand side as your going up the hill. From 10 pm onwards we will be celebrating England retaining the World Cup.

Hope to see you. Andy & Smithy.

Congratulations from the Westill G.S. go to The Legend and Dannielle, proud parents to new arrival Sadie May, born on Tuesday 9th October at 2:29pm, weighing in at 8lb 11oz - mother and baby doing well, father looking forward to the post-arrival beers!

Quarter-final result, match played at Birchwood on Sunday 16th September.

Mark Bull (30 points) beat Jimmy Harrison (28 points).

A closely contested 2-ball culminated in a victory for Bully over CJ in a match that ebbed-and-flowed right thru the closing holes.

The society Chairman will now face John Smith, the society's lowest-handicap member, in their semi-final on Friday at Bar Hill.

Well done, and good luck!

The Cambridge Weekender, including culmination of the longest-ever knock-out tournament:

Friday 21st September  to Sunday 23rd September

Semi-Finals on the Friday, Final on Sunday

Hotel details here>>

Calender details here>>

Count-down to the Cambridge Weekender has officially commenced!  Posted: 17th September 2007

Pack your clubs, get the good lady to iron your finest golf attire, and don't forget those all-important beer vouchers, the long-awaited Westill Weekender is here at last!

Set those alarm clocks to wake you bright and early on Friday, the Committee expect all golfers to arrive at Menzies no later than 10am.

Saturday 1st September - Results from The Burstead.

Qtr Final #1: John Smith (35 points) beat Martin 'Slasher' Wood (23 points)

Qtr Final #2: Mark Bull v Jimmy 'CJ' Harrison - match yet to be arranged

John Smith's 35 points was also enough to take the trophy, with Henny runner-up with 33 points, and Ronnie Perry in third with a commendable 32 points.

Wooden spoon for the day went to Joe Oleszko with 17 points - evidently Joe wasn't doing his own score-card this time. winking0001


John also won longest drive, and Mr. Perry (R) nearest the pin challenge - did anybody else attend?

Well done to all the day's winners!

A Message from the Chairman of the Golf Society 27th July 2007 

Westill Golf Society was founded on Friday 20th June 2003, with the first society being played at Darenth Valley Golf Course Kent, won by a foreign black cab driver “EL RONNIO PERRIO” or 'The Bandit', as he’s fondly known. Last place was gained by another overseas player the 'Maltese Arse' (guess who) shooting a club record of 167! He blamed it on a swollen ankle, I say it’s because he’s crap.


Several incidents have occurred over the past 4 years: a Mr. S. Smith seen charging across Maylands golf course Driver in hand towards the handicap secretary Mr. Slasher Wood - he duly received a letter of warning. His model behaviour has since earned him a place on the committee as Webmaster Smith.


A near miss when Mr. J. Courtney tried running Mr. P. Smith over with his golf buggy, only managing to smash his golf trolley. Someone soon will hopefully try again, and this time: GET HIM!


One mystery still unsolved is how Mr. P. Smith drank for 5 hours without money at the first golf weekend - any comments on this please send, there’s plenty of room on the website.


One thing did come up at the last committee meeting: the effect electric trolleys have on the ozone layer and climate warming. Oh Yes. So, for the Westill golf society to do its bit, the Committee have put a £1 tax revenue on the use of electric golf trollies, a bit like the congestion charge.


Hopefully the society will carry on like the football club, so any ideas towards the society days are welcomed, ie, different formats, etc.



Westill: football team, golf society, social club... 16th July 2007

From early beginnings in the 18th century, when Gary Perry was still in shorts and the Kenton served undiluted beer, through to the current bunch of ne'er-do-wells and reprobates who don the kit, or brandish the clubs, in the name of this East London institution.

This site is designed to entertain and inform, regarding past and future events in the fields golf and football prowess.

Pictures, articles, updates, death threats can be emailed to for inclusion onto the site. Alternatively contact Bully. As can be said of the Westill fraternity, we are nothing without one another, and you can be assured that ALL input and suggestions will be received, considered then consigned to the dustbin!

Yours, Westill Web Team